My Story

There is a Better Way: My Story

This is my story. Your Divorce™ was founded on the premise that there’s a better way than the traditional approach to divorce. Most couples actually want a smoother transition.

Despite the emotional turmoil, the anger, or resentments they may be carrying, they really do want what’s best for them and their family. And obviously, what’s best is less conflict, less cost, a family nucleus that remains intact, and a softer landing for all affected.

Sometimes, there are those cases that involve high-conflict personalities who make it nearly impossible to cooperate in the best interest of the family … and one spouse needs to do the bulk of the work on the untangling.

I’m very passionate about helping spouses in this kind of marriage and firmly believe no one should endure that kind of abuse. You’ll understand why when you read my story.

My story: My Own Divorce

Mercedes Barker, my story
Mercedes Barker

This is my story. During the last 7 years of our 20 years together, my ex-husband and I simply morphed into best friends and drifted away from each other as a couple. 

There wasn’t a single event that triggered it, we just grew apart as a couple while keeping the family intact. My divorce was as easy as a divorce could possibly be.  We’re still family and best of friends.

My Life Partner

Tom and I met 14 years ago.  Actually, we re-met. We’d been in elementary school together.

That was the last I saw or heard of him until 2012, when he found me on Facebook 42 years later. He had been divorced for a number of years already. 

While Tom and I continue to have a wonderful and exciting life together, the past 14 years have included moments where unresolved dynamics from our previous family situations naturally spilled into our world.

It’s the stark contrast of what we experienced in our marriages and divorces that contributed to the inspiration that led to the creation of Your Divorce™. 

High-Conflict

If you are married to a high-conflict, the process through divorce can be a long and painful journey. However, once you understand that dynamic, once you really get it, you can’t unget it. Once you figure it out, it becomes predictable behavior.

When you can predict it, you can preempt. When you can preempt, you create your boundaries and begin to heal. When you begin to heal, you feel empowered and in control of your life again. 

I know for a fact that it’s possible to get unstuck from an unhealthy never-ending cycle of toxicity. 

If you suspect you’re tethered to a high-conflict personality, I know I can help you.

“Hey Tom”

On a lighter note, just to show how some ex’s can be a good force, in 2013 I wrote and recorded a song called “Hey Tom”.

My ex-husband played the bass on it: